Eliminate Clutter - Inside and Out

In the midst of a huge life change, problems can feel much bigger than they are.  When your coping skills are challenged, when you're worried and your patience is wearing thin, when you're trying to figure out where you're going to go - small challenges can seem insurmountable.

I have decided that this layoff is going to be different.  I am not going to worry all the time.  I am going to be patient, and if I am not sleeping, I am going to take something to help me sleep.  I am a better, stronger, healthier and happier woman, mother, girlfriend, sister, daughter and job applicant when I am well-rested.

I am also determined to challenge the clutter in my life.  And believe me - there is clutter.  There are the thousands of  "what ifs" and "should I or nots" running through my brain; there are jobs and skills and wants and needs.  There are bills and salaries and schedules and insurance worries.

To begin to clean out the clutter, I began making lists.  I made lists of companies I would like to work for, jobs I would love to have and jobs that I might like to have.  I made lists of bills that must be paid and bills that could be postponed a little.  I made lists of bank accounts and old 401Ks and insurance companies and medications.

I periodically review and revise those lists, but now that they are on paper, they no longer have the power to keep me up at night.  I check websites and apply for positions at the companies I research...then I compile and send my information and let it go.  I pay my bills as best I can, once a week, based on due dates, and I am grateful that I can do so.  I take my vitamins and brush my teeth and make sure that I express my thankfulness for a strong and healthy body daily.  And, I pray.  It doesn't matter, really, who you decide to pray to, but invite a higher power on your journey, and let that higher power carry some of your burden.  It can be too much to carry by yourself.

As I review and declutter these important "rooms" in my head, and in my soul, I am also decluttering my home.  I am going through every room in my house with the intention of eliminating any source of stress or worry.  Anything in my home that isn't useful, beautiful or a transmitter of joy no longer has a place.

Start to think about the things in your home.  Are there piles of magazines that you feel obligated to keep (you did SUBSCRIBE after all) but that you haven't had time to read?  You have permission to recycle them.  Do you have utensils or pots and pans in the kitchen that you never use, taking up space?  Pack them up!  Are there shoes or clothes in your closet that you haven't felt great in for a long time?  Get them cleaned and ready to go!

Don't worry - I am not only giving you permission to declutter your life - inside and out - but I am going to share some ideas for recycling, reusing and even making money from this endeavor.  When you are done, you will feel empowered, relaxed, hopeful and deserving of new opportunities.

To begin this part of your journey, start making lists of the things in your life that seem to demand the most attention.   As you make your lists and review the stressors in your life, they will lose their power and feel more manageable.  Just writing things down can help.  Come back to this blog over the next several days and I will help you on the next phase of your journey...we'll travel together.

Accept Help and Support

In case these musings haven't made it clear - I am a nurturer.  Until recently, it has been extraordinarily difficult for me to accept help, never mind ask for it. I know that I am not alone.  Lots of people are uncomfortable in the role of recipient and prefer to be the person doing the giving.  It can be incredibly difficult to let yourself be helped. 

My attitude about this changed abruptly after a very brief conversation at church. I had made dinner for a friend that was really going through a rough time.  It was a time of stress and turmoil and challenges...although, thankfully, there was a light at the end of the tunnel.  I asked this friend if the family would be home later in the day, so I could drop off the meal I had prepared. 

The reply was "this whole thing makes me so uncomfortable.  It is really nice, but I can feed my family."   That gave me pause...and after a moment, this was my reply.  "I can understand that, but to some degree, this isn't about you - it is about how much we all value your family and our friendship with you, and this is the only thing that we can do to help.  We want to do something to make things better - to feel like we're helping you get through this, and this is for us as much as for you.  You're doing us a favor by accepting our meals...they are all we have to give."

It feels really good to give - and it is hard to receive.  In the gracious receipt of gifts - whatever form they take - you uplift the giver.  People want to help.  You are valued and loved and they understand you're going through a difficult challenge...emotionally, financially, perhaps even spiritually - and they want to make you feel better. 

I am so blessed in that I have an amazing network of support.  Being a born and bred New Englander, I have never strayed far from where I was raised.  I went to college nearby and have spent my entire career within a 30 mile radius (with the exception of a 10 month stint in NYC).  I have great contacts and the most amazing friends anyone could ask for.  I can not even tell you how wonderful it feels to post "I have an interview" on Facebook and have more than 30 "likes" and almost as many comments wishing me luck.

Allow yourself to accept well-wishes, prayers and even meals.  Food nurtures the body, but the love poured into the making nourishes the soul.  Accept graciously what is offered, and write a heart-felt and meaningful thank you.  You will feel grateful and valued, and the giver will feel blessed and appreciated. 

As you travel further toward your destination, embrace the wonderful gifts that you might otherwise overlook.